


Survival of the Gayest

by sehunbussy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: 2012 EXO, Alternate Universe - High School, Chanyeol's long hair, Dramedy, Ferrets, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Theatre Kids, Victorious(TV) AU, dumbass representation, kris as sikowitz, kyungsoo being a bad bitch, you know the drill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22854577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sehunbussy/pseuds/sehunbussy
Summary: Baekhyun did not expect his entire life to be changed when he ran into some idiot with a ferret at a performing arts high school. An EXO/Victorious AU.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol
Kudos: 1





	1. pilot 1

**Author's Note:**

> i put "just guys being dudes" on hold to write this back in december and then totally forgot to post it. i am now in a full-blown victorious obsession but i still love writing about exo so yea. also, even tho i am obviously molding this after victorious the exos aren't necessarily a fill-in for each victorious character, they will have their own unique personalities and as this goes on lots of events will go quite differently than in victorious canon. (and yes i stole this title from my own reck oneshot.) hope y'all enjoy!

Baekhyun couldn’t fucking believe it. It was Naruto’s _ 13th anniversary _ , and what was he doing instead of watching it? Watching his stupid older brother’s talent show performance instead. Junmyeon didn’t even _ want _to go to a performing arts school! He never auditioned or anything, he had simply been out shopping with his friends when someone mistook him for a famous actor and caused a crowd to swarm around him. Basking in the attention, Junmyeon started posing and somehow a scout from the local performing arts high school saw him and assumed he was a teen model. They gave him a card saying he was in the school and the rest was history. So, with a history like that, it was understandable why Baekhyun would rather be celebrating the cultural icon that was Naruto instead of watching his brother sing. Junmyeon didn’t even like karaoke, how the hell was he surviving this? As these questions flashed through Baekhyun’s mind, he decided to get up and find some water. His mom protested, but Baekhyun figured he was justified considering that he had been sitting in the auditorium for 40 minutes now. The performance was definitely behind schedule. As soon as she sighed and said “fine”, Baekhyun took off towards the exit.

No less than two minutes later Baekhyun was regretting his choice. Where the hell were the water fountains? Sure, he had never been in the school before, but he assumed it wouldn’t be this hard to find water. He had already walked down two hallways and had no luck. Don’t performers need to stay hydrated? What about the dancers? Baekhyun was so busy cursing the school that he didn’t even notice the giant walking in his direction. He collided with a solid chest and was taken aback. “What the fuck- oh, sorry” the man mumbled. Baekhyun shrugged and kept walking, but was stopped when he heard the man call out “hey, wait!” What did this stranger want from him? Taking a better look, Baekhyun noticed he had long orange hair held up in some ponytail-manbun hybrid, and was wearing an obnoxious blue jacket with the most god-awful shiny silver pants he had ever seen. However, this was rectified by the fact that he was hot as fuck. And honestly, the hairstyle was kinda cute. Baekhyun was so upset that he wasn’t wearing a cute outfit right now, of all the times to dress casual he meets a fucking Adonis? Baekhyun looked up to make eye contact with the guy and he flashed a blinding grin(which shot straight through Baekhyun’s heart) before biting his lip and saying “hey, can you help me with something?” 

“Of course”, Baekhyun breathed out. “Ok, this might sound a bit weird, but have you seen a ferret around here? I really need Dori for the talent show.” Baekhyun’s face went dead, and he started to wonder if this was his life now. Of course the one time he literally runs into a hot guy, said guy has to be a fucking ferret trainer. The man had just lost one thousand hotness points. “Wait, what’s your name?” the guy questioned. “Baekhyun”, he sighed. “Baekhyun, will you please help me?”, the guy pouted. As weird as he might be, he was still fucking gorgeous, and that pout was doing things to Baekhyun. “Okay, fine. But I have no idea how to catch a ferret.” “That’s okay, he’s really friendly! All you have to do is pick him up if you see him, I promise he doesn’t bite!” Somehow, Baekhyun did not feel reassured. 

  
  


The benefit of helping hot guy find his ferret, Baekhyun discovered, was that instead of splitting up the guy decided to walk with him, talking along the way. Baekhyun had learned that hot guy’s name was Chanyeol, and he was the same age as Baekhyun. Chanyeol apparently had an affinity for animals of all kinds and though he had gotten into the school through his instrumental skills, as song production was his passion, this talent show allowed the students to show their unconventional talents, which in Chanyeol’s case was training ferrets. The man had even told Baekhyun that he runs a fucking “ferret lovers club”, that’s how deep Chanyeol’s ferret obsession was. Meanwhile, Baekhyun had one(1) corgi. Chanyeol seemed delighted by that fact though, and started asking Baekhyun all kinds of questions about his precious Mongryong. Chanyeol owned a black poodle called Toben, and said that their dogs should meet. Was that an invitation? Baekhyun sure wanted to _ get to know _ Chanyeol more. Deciding to throw caution to the wind, Baekhyun asked Chanyeol if he would actually take him up on the offer, and displayed his most adorable pout before whining that “if only we went to the same school, Chanyeol.”

Imagine his shock when Chanyeol exclaimed “you can!” “If you help me find my ferret, you’ll have saved the fate of the talent show, and they’ll have to let you in after that!” Baekhyun _ really _ wanted to find that damn ferret now.

As luck would have it, Baekhyun spotted the furry little creature in the next hallway. He was in front of a cracked door, and as soon as Baekhyun yelled “look!”, it had disappeared into the room. Determined to catch this ferret, Baekhyun ran towards the door and into the classroom. He was not expecting to see a bald man sipping out of a coconut on the makeshift stage. “Sorry if I interrupted you”, Baekhyun stuttered out. “Oh, it’s no problem!” the guy laughed. “What do you need kid?” “I’m looking for a ferret.” “Oh, this little guy?”, the man asked, before holding up a ferret by the neck. Holy shit. “Yeah, that’s him.” Baekhyun walked up and awkwardly grabbed the ferret, cradling him in his arms before quickly letting out a “thanks, bye!” and walking out the door. Chanyeol’s eyes lit up when he saw Baekhyun, yelling “you found him!” before taking the ferret out of his arms and kissing his head like he was a baby. Chanyeol sure did love his ferret. “Now I can go on stage! Come with me, I’ll tell Yixing so he can know to let you in the school.” Was it really that easy to get in here? Baekhyun dutily followed Chanyeol, figuring he would think about all of this later.

Sure enough, after Chanyeol relayed the story to Yixing, the principal, Yixing was welcoming Baekhyun to the school. Then Chanyeol was telling Baekhyun to run back to the audience because he was about to go on. Baekhyun couldn’t believe that he was really attracted to a ferret tamer, but of course he nodded happily at Chanyeol before prancing back to his seat. When his mom asked where he had been, he just said “rescuing a ferret. You’ll see.” before Chanyeol’s performance did the explaining. Honestly, it was kind of impressive. His ferret knew commands, jumped through a hoop, and even did a little twirl dance. Were ferrets even trainable? Baekhyun was ashamed to admit he found the performance adorable, and was now extra excited to go to school with Chanyeol.


	2. pilot 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun runs into some trouble on his first day.

Monday morning had arrived and Baekhyun was still trying to accept the reality that he was really going to the performing arts high school now, all because of a hot guy with a lost ferret. Junmyeon was delighted about this, as Baekhyun now got to experience carpool trot karaoke with him. Junmyeon wasn’t bad at singing, but he had a bizarre music taste. Baekhyun had refused to ride with him to middle school when he was on his Gregorian chant kick. Sure, some of them kinda slapped, but listening to them every day for  _ months _ ? It was just depressing at that point.

The trot music may be old-fashioned, but at least he had missed out on Junmyeon’s rap phase. During the car ride, Junmyeon made sure to give him lots of brotherly advice, such as “don’t mess with Kris’s coconuts.” He assumed Kris was the guy he met when he found Dori. He sure hoped the other teachers weren’t that weird. Junmyeon also warned him that he would have to do some sort of performance or exercise as a new student. Baekhyun wasn’t super talented or anything, but he figured his singing would be good enough. He can hit the high notes in Beyonce’s Love On Top and that’s what counts.

  
  


As soon as he walked into school, Baekhyun realized something. He was lost. No one had thought to give him a map or a schedule, and there wasn’t anything posted on the walls to happen. He decided to wander aimlessly until he saw someone, since Junmyeon had of course gotten to school late and nobody was in the halls. He saw a tall kid with silver hair walk into a closet and immediately ran after him. “Hey! Sorry to bother you but I’m new and I’m lost. Where do I, like, go?” The man just blinked at him. “I don’t know.” He then pulled out scissors from a basket in the closet and said “don’t tell Kyungsoo” before using them to cut out flower shapes from colored paper. “Uhhh, what are you doing?” “These are for Vivi.” “Who’s Vivi?” Without a word, the man walked over to a tiny door at the back of the closet and opened it. Inside was a kennel and...a dog?! “You keep a fucking dog in this closet?!” “Well, all the teachers but Kris banned me from bringing Vivi to class so this is what I have to do. Don’t snitch or you’ll be cut.”, he replied while waving the safety scissors in a completely unthreatening manner. “Okay, can you just tell me where the front office is?” The man blinked, unwavering. “Ok, I give up, just take me literally anywhere”, Baekhyun complained. “Wait, I gotta put the flowers on Vivi’s kennel first.” The stranger pulled an Elmer’s glue stick out of nowhere and proceeded to do just that. “Now follow me.” What had Baekhyun gotten himself into?

With that weirdo’s guidance, Baekhyun had made it to some sort of classroom. He walked in the door after the guy and was semi-relieved to see ‘Kris’ perched on top of a stool. Baekhyun opened his mouth to introduce himself, but was stopped by Kris making the shushing motion at  him. He looked at the stage beside Kris and realized someone was performing. A short, black haired boy was giving a dramatic monologue, voice cold but yet full of emotion. His eyes flashed with a silent fury, which made sense as the monologue was clearly on the topic of revenge. This was not the kind of guy Baekhyun would ever want to cross. Shortly after, the guy was finished with his monologue and Baekhyun clapped passionately along with the rest of the class. “Well done Kyungsoo! Anyways, will everyone direct your attention to the left? We have a new student!” Someone with curly brown hair cheered extra loud along with another brunette, while dog boy and Kyungsoo just stared. Baekhyun’s face heated up when he made eye contact with Chanyeol, who gave him a friendly smile. “Now, as a new student Baekhyun will of course need to do some improv. Who do you want as your improv partner Baekhyun?” Well, the only person he knew was Chanyeol, so he figured he might as well say him. Baekhyun completely missed the way Kyungsoo’s eye twitched, or how Chanyeol shot a nervous glance in Kyungsoo’s direction, still focused on how nervous he was to be Chanyeol’s partner.

“As you know, the topic of this skit will be decided by the hat. Who wants to draw from the hat?” “Ooh, pick me!”, one of the brunettes yelled. “Sure thing Kai”, Kris chuckled. “It says...love.” The room went silent after that, with everyone feeling the tension except for Baekhyun. “Uhh, what should I do?” “This is improv, you don’t ask ‘what should I do’”, Kyungsoo scoffed. “Be nice Kyungsoo”, Kris sighed. Baekhyun felt completely out of his element. He had never acted before, he thought this was a singing school! How would he get through an improv scene?

  
Luckily, Chanyeol sensed his struggle and started it out. “Honey, I’m home”, Chanyeol smiled. “Thank goodness, I’ve been waiting so long”, Baekhyun awkwardly laughed. “If only it wasn’t so stressful out in space”, Chanyeol said conspiratorially while winking at Baekhyun. Did he want him to go along with it? “Yeah, I can’t believe how pesky those Martians are.” Did he really say that? Was that stupid? Ugh! “I know right, they’re always walking into  _ our  _ homes because they don’t understand doors.” “What a total lack of respect for privacy”, Baekhyun gasped. “Ok, quick, Kai jump in!” “Dads! I’m home!” “KAI!”, Chanyeol yelled while lifting him into a hug. “My sweet Kai, how was your day at school?” “Fine...but I’m bored. I want more toys!”, Kai whined. “You know Daddy only has so much money, right Kai”, Chanyeol asked while looking distressed. Kai just pouted. “Wait!” Baekhyun yelled. “I actually have a super special present for you Kai! It’s...a Martian!” Everyone looked baffled at what Baekhyun had said, but Kai jumped right into character. “A pet Martian? No way!” “Who wants to be the Martian?” Kris called out with a twinkle in his eye. “I will.”, Kyungsoo replied with confidence. He walked up on stage then proceeded to look around in confusion. “What is this place?” “Oh, this is the kitchen”, Chanyeol responded, looking a bit worried. “Interesting”, Kyungsoo smirked. “What’s this?”, Kyungsoo asked while picking up a soda can on the ground. Kris really needed to clean the place. “Oh, that’s a soda! Humans drink this to feel refreshed”, Baekhyun explained happily. “To be refreshed?”, Kyungsoo asked while blinking his eyes, looking innocent. “Yes”, Baekhyun smiled. Kyungsoo walked closer to Baekhyun, and everyone soon gasped as Kyungsoo poured the soda on Baekhyun’s head. “Kyungsoo”, Kris sighed. “Do you feel refreshed now?”, Kyungsoo asked with a smile. “Why would you do that?”, Baekhyun breathed out, feeling like he was about to cry. Did Kyungsoo hate him? What had he even done? “I’m just helping you out”, Kyungsoo said with a facade of naivety. Baekhyun just got up and powerwalked out of the classroom. He  couldn’t deal with this. “Kris, look at how he just broke character. I don’t think Baekhyun’s cut out for SM Arts.” “Kyungsoo”, Chanyeol growled. “Love you”, Kyungsoo replied mockingly before giving him a kiss and walking out.


End file.
